I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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