remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
