i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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