through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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