do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
