Will you blow on my dice?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
