You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
