sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
