we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
