I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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