hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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