Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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