Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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