So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
