I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
