ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
