the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
