Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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