nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
how drunk are you?
Several
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
