What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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