First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
barbara walters just said penis...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
