i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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