oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
