Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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