She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
