Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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