On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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