I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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