AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
