me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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