cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
