i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
