his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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