I'm jealous of your bromance
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
