Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
