How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
