Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
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Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
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so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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