Your mouth is God's brothel.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
