I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Randomize
