This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
