ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
