This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
