You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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