Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
