It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
