i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
