laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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