Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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