Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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