the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
