and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
