I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
