Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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