you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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