i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize