There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
