Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
