so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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