So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
